A safe in my heart
by GlamWriter
Summary: Adam doesn't see the love in front of him. But when he gets the hint, he wants to run away. Will Tommy let him get away?  Adommy  I don't own the guys, just the story.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter one

"Wow! That was..." I opened my eyes looking down on me, meeting his eyes. He looked up on me, his head on my chest, his eyes dark and full of desire. But suddenly I realized: There was something else to see. Something scary.

_No, that's not what I think it could b__e, no, no! _My thoughts were sreaming in my head. _He has to go, right now! Oh, my god! I have to get him the hell out of my bed. _

I was in panic. And he was just laying on my chest looking deep in my eyes and now there was no possibility to deny: This is love in his eyes! Shit!

_Ok, he doesn't know what is going around in my head, but he will know if I don't look away, right now! Break the spell, you fool! _

"Tommy, can you please get up, I have to go to bathroom, like right now." I really managed it to let my voice sound almost calm. His look still on my eyes he moved over on the bed and set me free.

_Ok, now don't just jump out of the bed, move slowly. How I am gonna do this, when all I want is to get away from him? Calm down! _

I had to come down from my panic attac, but how? First of all I got up from the bed took my bathrobe and walked to the bathroom. There I just stood in front of the mirror staring on my reflection. The man in the mirror looked back at me with fear in his eyes. I could not believe how I was feeling right now. I had to find a way to get to a normal level.

_Breathe, calm down, this is just Tommy. Nothing changed. Everything is cool._

My reflection looked back at me telling me a different story.

_Fuck! _

I could hear Tommy going around in my apartment. I flushed the toilet just to let him know that I will come out the bathroom. And of course I didn't want him to wonder what I needed to do in the bathroom instead of using the toilet, like a pretended.

_Ok, here we go!_

I got out just to see that he was back in his clothes, ready to leave. He smiled. "So, I think I will go now, it's late. I know you have to get up early tomorrow." He moved over to me, his look now as usaual.

_Maybe I was wrong._

He reached out and pulled me in a hug. It was as always. Then he pulled a little away just to look up to my eyes and there it was again. _Love._ I felt the panic coming back but he didn't give me much time to let it overflow me. He just gave me a light peck on my cheek and said: "Night, Adam. I will call you tomorrow, ok?" "Yeah, good night!" With this he turned around and was gone.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter two

I was standing here alone and in panic.

_What happen__ed? What was different from all those other nights?_

I just didn't get it. To calm down I went to my kitchen and got me a glas of water after rejecting to take some tequilla. I had to stay sober to be able to sort out what happened tonight. First I wanted to go back to my bed but I decided that there was too much Tommy left to let me find some clear thoughts. So I went to my living room to sit down on my couch. I let the past weeks pass by in my head.

Since we were back from the tour we met once or twice a week to keep in touch. Tommy is a very important person in my life, like my best friend. He was the one I went to when things turned out hard. But he was also the person I wanted to spend my fun time with. As I met him the first time I thought: Wow, this guy is just beautiful. After getting to know him as a person and as my bass player I put all the thoughts about how attractive he was beside. I decided to put all my feelings for him in a safe. I closed it and burried it deep in my heart. Never wanted to open it again.

We spent hours over talking, having fun, watching movies, listening to music, just as friends. When we started doing the Fever thing on stage that was just like a business idea, nothing sexual at all. It was a part of the show and we were both ok with this. We had fun.

At some of our regular meetings after the tour at my place we have talked about being alone and single. We both said that we were now in a time in our lives were it was hard to find a relationship. We also talked about how hard it sometimes was without sex. And on one of this nights we ended in a hot make-out session on my couch. We were like two hungry lions all over us with hands, mouths, tongues... It was hot. The funny thing was that we both didn't mind about it, it was for both of us no big deal at all, nothing embarrassing. We became friends with benefits and we were both fine with this. My safe was still closed and burried deep in a corner of my heart.

I tried to find out what went different tonight. It was as allways: Tommy called me this afternoon and we decided to meet in the evening in my apartment. We wanted to watch a movie and talk about some new songs for the next album. I had written some new stuff and wanted to talk with him about it. He brought something to eat for himself, I was after dinner. We never ate together, it was not a date!

After the movie started – I don't even know what it was – we talked and didn't really watch it. We were talking about random stuff and joking. Tommy told me how he went to a store to buy some groceries. Then some paparrazzi were there and took pictures of him. In order to have some fun with them, he put some XXL condoms in his shopping trolley. We were laughing about the possible gossips. Suddenly my hand brushed his hand and the next thing I know was him sitting on my lap and kissing me like he was dying. And I was kissing back just as fierce as he did. We removed our clothes and went on kissing, touching, biting... it was so hot, I could not think straight. I just wanted to touch his skin, to kiss his lips, over and over again. This was just hunger for feeling skin. Nothing else. My safe was still closed, I was secure.

Tommy wanted it as much as I did. His hands were all over me. He kissed his way down my neck to my chest and then back to kiss me on my lips again. God, his kisses almost killed me. I just stopped thinking and let go.

We didn't sleep with each other, it was just touching and kissing. But it was enough for us both to end up satisfied in my bed after what seems hours of hot making out. And there I saw the love in his eyes and here I am now.

_Sigh!_

How was I so stupid to play with fire! I never should let him touch me that way and I never should have touched him. I even don't know who started it.

_But now it had to come to an end! _

I was sitting in my living room, not able to go to sleep.

_How could this all happen? Why was there love in his eyes? We are just friends, damn it!_

I felt the safe vibrate deep in my heart. I must keep it closed, I can't let my feelings come out, I don't want to find out what I feel for Tommy.

_He is my best friend! That's all!_

I felt tears in my eyes. I was on the top of a panic attac. It was scaring me to death that Tommy possibly was in love with me. I was not ready to handle it. But did I have a choice? One thing I knew for sure: We can't go on doing this stupid friends with benefits thing, I can't pretend that I haven't seen the change.

_I don't want to get hurt, not again__! _

How could I be stupid enough to think that this would work well? With my eyes open I ran in a fire and now I am suprised that I got burned, really? I closed my eyes and still there was his face I saw and this damn look!

_Fuck!_ _I have to stop it right now! _

I picked my cell phone and wanted to text Tommy but first I looked at the time. It was 3 in the morning.

_Shit!_

I have a meeting with someone in the morning at 10. I neither couldn't remember with whom nor why.

_I have to catch some sleep, tomorrow is time to talk to Tommy._

I walked over to my bedroom. When I saw the messed sheets on my bed I could feel my safe vibrating once again.

_I have to stop this!_

I laid down, trying to ignore that I still could smell Tommy and fell in a dreamless sleep.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter three

I woke up as my mobile phone went off. My head was aching.

_What was this? Who is calling me in the mid of the night. _ I locked at my clock on the wall.

_Fuck, it's 8 in the morning, I have to get up._ I felt like having a hangover. _Don't want to get up, don't want to meet the sun..._

I closed my eyes and rolled over on my stomach. But this was a bad idea. Flashbacks of Tommys look hit me immediately as I closed my eyes. I sat up with wide opened eyes and could't catch my breath. The memory of the last evening came back.

_I have to talk to Tommy_.

I took a look on my mobile phone just to see that I've got a text from my management. They were always afraid I would oversleep my meetings. I had to smile, because today the wake-up call was really needed.

As I stepped in my bathroom I looked in the mirror and nearly jumped away at my sight. I was a mess. The makeup artist would have to do a hard work on me today. I got ready just in time as the car service came to get me. I was happy I didn't have to drive by myself, I was so tired.

After what seems hours of work I finally got back to my apartment. Now there was no excuse, I had to call Tommy. I sat down on my couch. I was holding the cell phone in my hand but couldn't make the call. I just stared down on it looking at the picture of Tommy above his number.

_Come on just call him. After all it's still Tommy. _

But it was not that simple. After all this was a Tommy who was reaching out for my heart.

_This is stupid, you don't know, you just think you do. Maybe you are wrong, maybe you just overact. Maybe there is nothin__g more than friendship. Call him, you will find out. _

But the thing was, I was afraid to find out whatever there was to find out. I was afraid of losing my security.

_What will you do, when he says that he loves you. And what will happen, when you are wrong? _

No, now is not the time to talk to him. I threw the phone away. I have to do something to calm down. I should call somebody and go out. Distraction is what I need.

_Hell yes! I could call Tommy and... __SHIT!_

There I could see where the big deal was: Tommy was usually my distraction but not yet.

_Great, Lambert! You fucked it up! You are so afraid to fall in love that now you will lose everything. _

_Oh, shut up! I am not afraid, i just don't want to__ be in love. I have no time for a relationship. I am so busy. So, shut the fuck up!_

_Great, now I argue with myself. I am going crazy. I have to get out here._

After a few phonecalls i knew I would meet some friends and go to a club. I would dance all night and forget about Tommy.

_No, you won't forget Tommy!_

I felt a new strong vibration on the closed door of my safe.

_I have to go!_

As I was about to leave my apartment my cell phone went off.

_It's Tommy._

Of course! He told me, he would call. I just stared on his face on the screen. My hands were shaking.

_Sorry Tommy, I can't handle it now! _

I didn't pick up. I knew he wouldn't leave a massage, he never does. But he sent a text: "Hey, how RU? Miss U! Call me if U have time!" With a sigh I put my phone in my jeans.

_Sorry Tommy, I can't call you back, I don't know what to say to you._

Right now I just wanted to have fun with my friends.

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It would be nice to read what you guys are thinking about my story?

Thanks for reading!


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter four

I managed it to avoid Tommy for almost a week. I knew I was acting like a stupid teenager. My strange behavior became a huge problem, because Tommy is not stupid. He is a very sensitive person. He has these sensors for the people he cares about. He always knew first when I had something to deal with. He was the first to comfort me when these protesters came along on GNT. I didn't have to say a word.

So it was just a matter of time until he just showed up to see me. I mean we were best friends until now and we talked or texted every day. How could I have expected that he would't do anything when I just didn't call him back? He send me 10 massages the last days. Every one of it was pulling like crazy on the door of my safe.

"Hey Adam! Lot of work? Miss U!"

"Just wonder what U R doing? Had a nice dinner with my mum. She is sending hugs 2U."

"I hope U don't think I want to stalk U, but please call me!"

"What have I done to deserve this ;-)?"

"Ok, the only excuse U have is, that U R dead. R U?"

"After all these days I am worried about U. Don't space me out! Talk to me!"

"Adam, please!"

"Ok, I called your mum. I know U R alive. I hope U R fine! Please let me know!"

"I figured it out: U have a new boyfriend and now U R on cloud number 9 and forgot about your best friend :-( "

"I don't get it!"

And after all those massages and abou a million phone calls there he was. He visited me in the studio I was recording for my new album. How did he know where to find me?

_He is not stupid and he knows your management. No big deal._

I saw him behind the glas wall of the studio. He was looking at me with those big eyes full of confusion and worry.

_Shit!_

Now I couldn't just go away and pretend there was nothing. I managed to smile at him, but he knew me well. He knew it was fake. I could see it on his face.

_Tommy please just go away! _My mind was going insane.

I felt the panic attac once again. It was crawling up my back. I started to shiver.

_Calm down! You will scare him! _

I pulled the head set off my head and told to the producer that I will take a break. I turned to Tommy and show him through the glass to get around to the back door. He began to move and I tried to catch my breath.

_Just breathe! It's just Tommy! You can handle it. You can. You can. _

But could I really handle it? Ok, no time to think about it. I was at the door and as I opend it, there he was. Just standing there and watching me. Really WATCHING me!

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Hope you guys still like the story ;-)


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter five

" Hi Adam", he just smiles this amazing smile. It's so warm, I just have to smile back.

_How is he doing it?_

I was still afraid what to say or to do, but I relaxed a little on this smile. I still didn't say anything. Just smiled back.

_Why is this so hard?_

"I thought I have to take a look, how you are. I could't get trough to you on the phone. What's wrong?" Tommy still smiled at me. But I stopped smiling. In my mind I tried to find a smart answer. But what could I say?

Maybe: _My phone was broken._ _Oh, come on, Adam, this is lame! Even for you. _So what do I tell him?

_Tell him the truth!_

But what was the truth?

"Adam?" Tommy looked a little confused. I haven't said anything until yet. And I think I was standing here for a couple of minutes. This was strange. I looked down on my shoes, my hand went trough my hair.

_Why did he had to come over here to torture me! He should just go! I must make him go away! _I just wasn't in the mood to talk to him, why didn't he get it?

"Tommy, I don't know what you want from me? I don't have to tell you about every move I make. We are not married or something! Can't I just have some space and time for me, without you?" I hissed at him. Good Lord, that was so mean! I expected him to react angry and just go away. That was actually my plan.

But Tommy knew me so well. There was something like amusement and realization on his face. He looked at me with one more smile and reached out with his hand to stroke my cheek.

_Tommy, don't touch me!_ My mind was about to fall apart.

"Adam, don't give me that. Don't try to make me go away. I know what you are doing. I don't know why you don't want to talk to me right now, but be sure I am patient. I will wait until you are ready." His hand was still burning on my cheek. The door to my safe was vibrating just as crazy that I almost lost it. "I will wait until you are ready. Just don't believe that you are able to avoid to talk to me forever."

I was ashamed that I couldn't open myself to him. After all he was my best friend. I don't think he would let me down.

_So w__hat are you afraid of?_ I don't know.

"Tommy, I..." words were hard to find in this moment. "I just can't talk now. I can't. Sorry." He came closer to me, his hand now on my back, embracing me just a little. I could smell him.

_God Tommy, please stop this!_

His mouth was on my ear. He whispered "I don't mind how long you will need to talk to me. Just know, I am here for you." He pulled away, kissed me on my cheek and started to go away. Just before he went around the corner he turned around and said: "I see you. I won't let you down!" after this he was gone.

I closed my eyes and leaned on the wall. My body was shaking. I slid down to the floor, placed my head on my knees.

_Why was he just so...understanding?_

Well, he was just Tommy. He had every right to be mad at me. I didn't call him back, I avoided him and I was so mean. And still he was just the sweet Tommy. Just as always.

_He is__ just amazing! _

The safe in my heart almost broke open by the look on his face with this warm smile. I just wanted to cry. This all was so stupid.

_What can I do?_ _What do I want to do?_

And then I felt my mobile phone vibrating. It was a text massage from Tommy: "Sorry for stealing your lyrics but: I will let you be broken open...". I couldn't stop the tears and hid my face in my hands.

_This is just to much!_

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_Please review and I will update faster ;-)  
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	6. Chapter 6

Chapter six

Two days later I was standing in front of Tommys apartment. I came here to talk to him. But now I was just staring at his door. I think I stood there for minutes, trying to knock.

The last past days were pretty hard for me. I couldn't think about anything else but Tommy. I have tried so hard to not think about him, my head ached. He didn't call me anymore since we met in the studio. But I've got a text message yesterday. This message almost killed me.

"I am still here, I always will be!"

I couldn't sleep after reading this. I had to talk to him, to let him know what was wrong with me. He was so caring and so sweet. It was not fair to leave him in the lurch. That was the reason why I got up today with the plan to come to his apartment. I thought it would be easier to talk to him here. I would be able to leave anytime and first of all, I would't be left alone after the talk in my apartment still smelling him around me after he would leave.

_Ok, now you are here, just get in and talk to him! _

I breathed out, closed my eyes and knocked on his door. The small voice in my head still hoped he was not there. But he was. I heard him saying: "I'll be right there!" and then his steps moved towards the door. My heart was racing, the door to my safe was vibrating like crazy, I almost faint. _Run away!_

But I didn't. I had got the strength to stay and to wait for him to open the door.

As he opend the door he met my eyes with disbelief. But it was there just for a few seconds. Then he smiled one of this rare smiles and my heart jumped a little. "Hey! This is a nice surprise, come in. I just wanted to make myself a cup of coffee. Do you want to join me?" He pulled me in his apartment, closed the door and looked in my eyes. I couldn't speak, so I just nodded. As he turned away to get to his kitchen I cleared my throat to be able to say something. Now that his eyes were not on me it was easier. I followed him in his kitchen. "I was just in your neighbourhood, so ..." I started. He looked at me almost laughing about my stupid statement. "It's ok, I knew you would come to me to talk. No need to play around. I am happy you are here." He sqeezed light my arm.

_Oh, this is bad!_

He finished making coffee and headed to his living room. "You don't fallow?". In my head there was a quick thought about running out of the door, but I sighned and walked after him.

_You have to get it over with!_

He was sitting on his couch, I set down on his side. I made sure not to touch him. I was nervous and he knew about this. He wanted to support me and took my hand. In this moment I looked up and looked in his eyes.

_Big mistake!_

I saw love in his eyes. It was so clear and pure, it shook me to the core. The door to my safe flew open. I was under a spell, his eyes pulled my body towards him. I wanted so badly to touch him, to kiss him. Everything moved in slow motion, the room around us started to turn around. I reached my hand out to touch his face. He leaned in my touch, his eyes still open, still looking deep in my soul. I couldn't stop from moving to him, the spell was too strong. Then our lips touched. As I felt his lips moving on mine lips, time stopped.

_Oh my God! I lost it!_

_

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Thank you for reading!  
_


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter seven

Tommy pulled me closer as we kissed. It was a very gentle kiss. Our lips were touching so slowly and so full of emotions I nearly cried. Then Tommy pulled me on his lap. It was still very tenderly. He was holding me in his arms like I was a fragile treasure. His hands cupped my face. Then he let them wander over my back, so gentle, barely touching me. I was so lost in a sea of emotions, I shivered against his body. Then Tommys hand got under my shirt, touching the skin on my back.

_What am I doing here?I have to stop this!_

I pulled away and looked at him for a second. In his eyes was nothing else but love. I was under shock. I had to move away. _I came here to talk, to stop this feelings! _I jumped away from him and started to run toward his front door.

_I must close the door in my heart. Just run, run!_

"No! This doesn't work that way for me and neither for you!" Tommy said it loud, but didn't yell at all. He was fast enogh to catch me before I could grab the door handle. I could feel the tears in my eyes. I just wanted to get away from him. "Adam, you won't leave me like that." His voice was now quiet but clear and he was standing in front of me, between me and the door. I was on the edge of a breakdown. But I knew there was no possibility to get away. I couldn't look at him. The tears were running down on my face.

_Why am I crying?_

"Adam, please talk to me." His voice was just a whisper. I still could feel all the love through this whisper and I fell on my knees. He was immediately down on the floor next to me. He tried to pull me in his arms, but I didn't let him. I just backed off slipping on the floor. I moved away and didn't stop until I was with my back against the wall. I looked up at him through my tears. He was about to move over to me. I rose my hand to show him to stop. "Tommy please don't come closer. I can't breathe" I was in despair. He stopped moving closer, but he didn't stop looking in my eyes. He just sat there and stared in my eyes.

_Adam, calm down! You have the strength to talk about this!_

I wiped away the tears and breathed out. I waited a few minutes avoiding his look. I knew I would't be able to say anything unless I don't look at him. So I laid my head back against the wall and looked on the ceiling.

_On__e more breath! Then I can speak again. . _

The whole time Tommy was just sitting a few steps away from me. He was patient and waited. "What is this?" I waved my hand between us both. "What is this, Tommy?" My voice was almost a whisper. Tommy sighed. "Adam, look at me!"

_No way!_

"Please look at me!". I couldn't resist and looked in his eyes. There was so much warm emotion in his eyes. It felt familiar to look into them. "Adam, I thought that it's obvious. Do I really need to tell you?" there was a smile in his voice. "What do you think is this thing between us?".

I closed my eyes and took one more breath: "Tommy, the last time we were in my apartment.. watching that movie... ah... you know what I mean. Did you just satisfied your needs or..." I stuttered "did you make love to me?" I almost pushed the last words out. For a moment there was just silence. Then I opened my eyes. He looked deep in my soul. "I was making love to you every time I touched you." He said with a voice full of pure love.

_Bang! _My safe was about to explode! I just realized: we never were friends with benefits. At least not for Tommy.

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	8. Chapter 8

Chapter eight

We were sitting on the floor looking at each other for another few minutes. My mind was spinnning around his words and the meaning behind them.

_He loves you!_

Tommy looked at me in silence. I didn't feel strange, but it was kind of hard to take. It was hard to breathe.

"Adam, I thought you would know. I didn't try to hide it at all. I am sorry if I scared you. That is the last thing I wanted to do." His voice was calm and gentle. He seemed to be confident about his feelings towards me. No panic in his wards, no fear.

"Tommy, since when do you...?" I just didn't get it out. He smiled at me and said: "Oh, a pretty long time. I don't even know when it happend. It was not like I woke up on one particular day noticing that I loved you. Maybe I fell for you as I met you. Maybe it needed time to fell for you. Don't know. But as I recognized it, it felt so right for me. I always knew that we will be together one day. I just have to wait. Wait until you will be ready."

I couldn't believe it. _Tommy is in love with me!_

My head fell against the wall, I closed my eyes for a moment. Then I looked at him again: "Why are you so confident about it? Why are you not... not scary?"

_Because I am so scary I could jump out of my skin! _

He didn't answer me immediately. He breathed out slightly and started to move closer to me. He watched my reaction, but I was just too confused to realise that he was about to get closer. Maybe I even didn't care at this point. Eventually he was right in front of me, just a few inches away. He took my hand. I was shaking like a leaf. He just held my hand and looked at me, in me.

Finally he said: "I never had a doubt about what I feel for you. I know you and I know me. I have seen your soul and you saw mine. I know how it is to be a part of your life. I know how you love and I want to have that love all for me. It's just as simple as it is: I love you and I have faith in you. I have faith in us. I really want to be with you. I simply know: this is right. You are the one for me." With his other hand he stroke my cheek and smiled. "Don't be afraid, I just want to love you. I have enough faith for us both. We will be happy. There is no doubt for me."

I sighed. "Tommy, for me it's not that easy. I am really scary. I couldn't face loosing you when I mess it up. And I always mess relationships up. I am not good at these things. I just ... I don't know... I am just fucking scary." I started to cry again. He sat down beside me with his back on the wall. He pulled me to his chest and gave me a kiss on my forehead. "I won't let you mess it up. I love you too much. But I can understand when you need time to get over your fears. I will wait for you. Take your time. Don't be afraid, I will wait until you are ready. No matter how long you will need. Just don't forget", he pulled my head up, cupped my face with his hands and forced me to look in his eyes again, " I love you and I will always do." He lowered his face and kissed me. It was just a gentle peck on my lips. But for me it was everything I needed right now. I knew I had time to deal with my devils and I knew he will wait for me. I cried silent tears and he held me in his arms.

_Tommy... maybe you are the one for me as well ... _

At last I left the door to my safe ajar, just for a while, only for Tommy and fell asleep in his arms, sitting down on the floor.

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Thank you for all reviews! I will try to update as soon as I can ;-)


	9. Chapter 9

Chapter nine

I woke up still on the floor, still in his arms, still close to his heart. I pretended I'd still sleep. He was stroking my hair and humming a song. I didn't recognize it. I thought about what to do next. My emotions had calmed down and I was almost relaxed. But I was still not able to allow myself to think about what I felt for Tommy.

_I should go home. _

_But it's so warm in his arms. I want to stay forever like this. _

**_What?_**

"I know that you don't sleep anymore" Tommys voice made me shiver.

_He knows me so well._

Slowly I moved out of his embrace, avoiding his eyes. I just wanted to leave. I jumped up and he grabbed my hand. "Hey! You don't have to act like that. It's ok for me when you want to go. I know you need it right now. But don't leave me like that, without a word. Look, I'm only human and I'm in love with you. When you leave without a word it will be very hard for me to handle." There was hurt in his voice. For a moment he seemed to lose control. I closed my eyes.

_I don't want to hurt you Tommy, I just have to go. _

I managed to turn back to him standing in front of him. He took my hand and pulled himself up. Now we were almost face to face. Too close for me, so I backed a step away. I was now able to look in his eyes without a panic attac, so I did it. "Tommy, I am sorry but I have to go. I am not so confident with this" I waved between us"as you might be. Please understand!" It was hard to see him sad like this.

"I know that you have to go. I won't hold you back. I mean I want you to stay here with me like I never wanted anything else in my life. But I know that you are not ready for this. I'm sorry, I didn't want to put pressure on you. I just... it's sometimes hard for me to be patient. Especially when you look like that." He smiled sadly and sighed. "Never mind! Go, find out what you want and please come back. I am waiting here for you."

My heart was aching to see him like this. I pulled him in a short hug. Feeling his body against mine turned my knees to jelly. I resisted the urge to melt into him and pulled away. I turned around to leave and felt his hand grabbing mine. He didn't pull on my hand, it was just a touch. But this was enough for me to turn around and push him against the wall to kiss him with all the desperation I felt, but there was hope as well. I needed him to know that I was really trying. My lips felt so good on his mouth.

It was a short kiss. I stopped it before I could lose control. I rested my forehead on his forehead and opened my eyes. I could see that he was trembling, his hands pulling on his jeans. His eyes were closed. It must have been hard for him not to touch me. But he wanted to stay strong for me.

_He is just awesome._

"I... I'm sorry, Tommy. I will go now." I rushed out of the door. Before I closed the door behind me, I could see him still standing with his back on the wall.

_What am I doing to this wonderful man?_

I don't know how I got back to my apartment. It seemed to me like I didn't breathe until I was there behind closed doors. I felt lost without Tommys arms around me. I was really restless. What could I do now?

_You should try to find out what you feel and what you want._

I sighed. Finding out what I feel would mean I would have to open my safe and take out what I put in. Was I ready for this? Immediately I could see Tommys face with this hurt look in his eyes. I felt my heart skipping on the memory.

_I have to work this out. I have to find out what I wanted to be for Tommy. He deserves it. I deserve it! We deserve it! _

I was tired and fell asleep on my couch. It didn't matter anyway where I was. I felt lost without him. A part of me wanted to go back.

_Why do I feel like that?_

_

* * *

_I promise the next chapter will be longer. _  
_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter ten

I was sitting on a kitchen chair in Montes and Lisas house. We just had a dinner together with their adorable kids. Now we were in the kitchen. Lisa was washing dishes, Monte was drying and putting them in different boards in their kitchen. They were so cute together. Sometimes when I watch them I see how their minds work together. They just look at each other and know what they want, what they need. You can feel the love between them.

There was almost silence in their house. I was holding Beatrix in my arms. She was looking up at me with her big eyes, slowly falling asleep. So sweet! I looked back at Monte and Lisa. They already finished cleaning up. Monte pulled Lisa in his arms standing behind her and put his head on her shoulder whispering something in her ear. She smiled back at him and kissed him on his lips. They smiled looking in each other eyes.

_I want this too..._ I sigh escaped my lips.

They looked at me. "Something wrong with you, Adam? You seemed to be a little out of it, tonight." Lisa asked me.

"It's nothing and almost everything. I don't know. It's just... It's about Tommy." It was a relief to put it out. Lisa turned to Monte, gave him a peck on his lips and walked over to me to take her daughter. She stroked over my face and gave me a smile. "I bring the kids to bed. I will need some time." She gave Monte a look and walked out. Monte got us a bottle of red wine and two glasses and directed me to their living room. We sat down on the dining table, he poured us some wine. I took a sip and looked on the table.

He chuckled. "Adam, I can't help you, if you don't talk to me." I sighed once again.

_Where sholud I start? Mabe right with the most important?  
_

"Tommy told me he loves me!" I just spit out and looked at his face. He just smiled. "Nothing really new for me, dude." My face dropped. "What...?" I was really confused. "Come on, Adam. Everbody who had seen you both together is waiting for you to become a couple." His smile grew bigger. "You remember the party after the tour here in my house?" I nodded. "I was asked about a hundred times since when you were officialy together." He was now laughing.

I was shocked. "What do you mean?" He stopped laughing and looked at me. "Adam, seriously? You are all over him with your eyes and your hands and he is all over you. When you've got something to eat for you, you brought some food for him. Not anything, just the stuff you know he likes. And he knows exactly when and what you need to drink. And no matter how often I asked you where Tommy was, you always knew without looking around. You and Tommy you both have a connection like a couple, I mean without words. You are just so real together, I don't know. I kind of like you even more when Tommy is around. He gets the best out of you. I can't explain this." He took a sip of wine and kept looking at my face. I was so confused and my face showed it.

"I don't get it. Everybody have seen it. How come I didn't?" I asked more myself then him. He was again laughing at me. "Look, Adam. You have had a crazy time the last year. The album, the tour, the fans. This is so much to take and to work out, you were just blind. Not able to see what was happening in front of you. But what is now? Can you see it now?"

"That is not that simple, you know. The other day Tommy and I were friends, then we become ... I don't even know how to call it." My voice is now a little hysterical. "Adam, calm down. No need to go mad." He laid his hand on my shoulder.

"Why are you so confused about Tommy? Don't you want what he wants?" He looked me straight in my eyes. I blinked the tears away. "I do and at the same time I don't. I mean, I don't really know what I want. I even don't know what I feel" I almost whisper in answer. He pulls me in a side hug, patting my back. "I always thought we were just friends. And now I am too afraid to think about what I really feel for him. It is so... so scaring me. I even don't understand why, I mean it's still Tommy. Nothing changed, but at the same time everything changed." I sighed. "He told me he will wait for me. He is so sure about us, about what we could be. And I am going crazy about it." I confessed to him.

"Adam, I understand that you are afraid. I mean I know you pretty good, at least I think so. You are always so positive, telling everyone how important and good it is to have love in their lifes. But when it hits you, you want to run away. But you must understand, in some way we all have to get through it. Falling in love is always scary. You must open yourself, that makes you vulnerable. It is a venture, but you need to take it, if you want to be happy." His voice was calm and comforting.

I thought about what he said for a while. "Monte, I am not a teenager. I can't fall head over heels without thinking about the consequences. I have to make a rational decision." As I finished that sentence I looked up at him. He was smiling again. "No, Adam this is not about rationality, it's about heart. You have to let go and let your heart decide. And let me tell you one thing: in love stuff we always will be like stupid teenagers. It doesn't matter how old we grow, we will always act foolish when we fall for someone." He laid his hand over my hand. "You have to take a step and just jump and hope Tommy will catch you when you fall." He said.

I must laugh about that:"Wow this was sappy." I wipe the last tears away. "You know what I mean. And let me tell you: Tommy is a great guy and he WILL catch you."

_I know that, deep in my heart I know that._

"So it's your choice now. What do you want?" Without a second thought I simply answered: "I want Tommy." I was surprised about my own answer. "Yes, I DO want Tommy." Monte looked at me and punched my arm. "Monte you are a really good friend, do you know that? I should have talked to you before I almost lost my mind." I told him sadly looking at my fingers.

"There is something more, isn't it?", he saw my hesitation. "What if... I mean I don't know if I am ready?" I was stuttering and stopped then. "You mean, what if it works?" I nodded slightly. "Are you afraid that it WILL work? Really?" He asked in disbelief. "Yeah, somehow. I know this is crazy. But I think this is the most scaring part of the whole thing." I was trembling a little. "Adam, once again: this is not a rational decision. You have to answer two questions with your heart: Do you want to be with Tommy and do you love Tommy?" his eyes met my eyes.

_But this __are THE questions, I'm not ready to answer. But maybe I just should... _

"Adam, just try." He simply said.

I closed my eyes. Images of Tommy began to circle around my head. All the times we spend together, all the small touches, the kisses, all the looks, his smile.

_He is beautiful outside and inside. _

Finally Monte gave me the strenght to open my safe. But could I admit it...

"Monte," I answered after a few moments of gathering myself "I love him so fucking much, it almost kills me! I want to be with him more than anything else. But what if this is not enough? What if I am not good enough? I messed up my former relationships, so I will probably mess up this one too." There was still insecurity in me. I didn't even recognize that I have admited loud that I loved Tommy. It came out naturally.

Monte looked at me and smiled. "Did you hear what you just said? You love him, you want to be with him and that is enough to start from. And it doesn't matter what was in the past. This will be a brand new start with Tommy. And don't forget: This is Tommy, the best guy I could imagine for you. Just let him love you and enjoy it. No need to be afraid of the big possibility to be happy!" He clapped and stood up. "Now I will make us coffee, I am sure Lisa will want to have one too. So I leave you to sort out what you want to do next." He left the room.

I knew he was right. I must open my heart for Tommy and let him touch my soul. No matter how much this is scaring me.

_He already touched your soul and you are still alive._

Yeah, I am alive. And to be honest, I am more alive since Tommy came into my life.

_He ist the one for me. Finally I found the better part of me. _

Suddenly I realized: the safe in my heart was gone, there was just a slight memory of something dark. And everything felt so right and easy.

Monte came back with Lisa, they brought coffee. Monte looked at me:"Adam you have to be carefull." I looked at him, taking a cup of coffee, almost frozen at his words. "Don't let anybody else find out how great Tommy is. They might steal him from you." Monte was just teasing me, but I almost choked on my coffee.

_What?_

Lisa looked at my horrified face and punched Monte lightly on his chest. "Monte, how can you say something like that. Don't you see how much he loves Tommy?" She pulled me in a hug and whispered in my ear: "He is just joking, but you shouldn't waste your time. Go and get your man!"

* * *

Review, please?


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter eleven

I was so nervous. I couldn't wait to see Tommy. I left Lisa and Monte after midnight. First I thought that I should wait until next day to talk to Tommy. I drove home. As I was laying in my bed I could't fall asleep. I wrapped my head around Tommy. I thought about his lips and wanted to kiss him right now so bad. I know I was confused about my feelings towards him, but now I knew what I wanted. And I was never really good trying to be patient.

I was tossing and turning in my bed, just couldn't sleep.

_Tommy, I just need to tell you, that I love you. Can't wait!_

I took my phone to see what time it was.

_Shit, it's just two in the morning. I'll go crazy! Tommy I need you right now!_

I jumped out of the bed and put my clothes on. Should I call him before I just show up in his place?

_No time for texting, no time for calling, just go!_

I took my keys and left my apartment to get to my car. My heart was racing in my chest. My hands were shaking that much, I almost wasn't able to open the door of my car. I dropped the keys about five times.

_Adam, calm down! You will kill you on the way to him._

I breathed out loud and closed my eyes for a moment to gather myself. Then I could open the door and started the car.

_Here I go!_

Thank God, Tommys place was only a few minutes away, so I didn't really get the chance to kill myself driving like an idiot. But I was not in control, I just wanted to get there as fast as I could. As I arrived in front of his house, I took another deep breath and looked up to his windows. There was just a slight flare in the darkness. It looked like there was a TV screen on. Even in this moment I didn't realize that it was in the middle of the night and that maybe Tommy could be sleeping. I just thought that I am here and he is here.

_Thank Good, he is here!_

I jumped out of the car and rushed towards the appartment house. The doorman recognized me. "Mr. Lambert you are really late tonight." He was smiling. "Yes, I am. Sorry to bother you, but I have to see Mr. Ratliff." I didn't have the time to talk to him, I just wanted to get to Tommy. "Never mind, this is my job. Get in." I waved to him and rushed toward the elevator. No, I didn't pick the stairway, because I had to fight with my breath even without running four floors upstairs. After what seemed to me hours of waiting I've got in the elevator and pushed the button to get to Tommys floor.

I became more and more nervous. My hands were sweating, my knees were weak and my heart almost jumped out of my chest. All my attempts to calm down were in vain. Finally I was on his floor and almost fell out of the elevator. I was tripping over my own feet as I walked down the hall.

_Come on Adam, this is childish! Calm the fuck down!_

Now I was just in front of his door, once again. The memory of our last meeting went trough my head.

_Calm down, he is waiting for you. He loves you._

I smiled and knocked on the door. For a few moments there was just silence. Then I knocked again a little louder. I could hear him coming to the door and swearing: "What the fuck? It's night! Who is ..." then he opened the door and stared in my eyes. His look was first a little upset, than suprised. "Adam?" his voice sounded sleepy and tired. For a second I was sorry that I got him up. But mostly I was just happy to see him. He was just beautiful. His hair were mess. His brown eyes full of sleep. For a few moments I was just standing in front of him, devouring his face with my eyes.

"Tommy, I am back." Suddenly I didn't have the strength to say more then this, hoping he would understand. But he was not full awake now and looked at me in confusion. So I took a deep breath for a moment almost not able to continue looking in his eyes and said: "Tommy, do you understand me: I am back and I would like to stay." In realization what I just said, he looked up in my eyes, took my hand and pulled me in his apartment.

The door closed quietly behind us.

* * *

First I wanted the story to end like this, then I wanted to tell some more. And the next chapter is the last one. But it will be a long one, I promise!


	12. Chapter 12

This is the last chapter. It became a little longer as I planned. I hope you enjoy it!

I dedicate it to my soulsister Kia (lovenhardt1). She made me publish my story! Thank you for your faith in me! I love you, sweetheart!

And now: Here is the end:

* * *

Chapter twelve

After the door closed, we were standing there, facing each other. It seemed like the world just stopped around as. It was timeless. My eyes were dancing across his face.

_You are so beautiful!_

I couldn't speak for a while, he was also quiet. I felt so close to him, even without touching. I wanted so badly to touch him, to kiss him. But I thought we should first talk about us. And I was not sure if I could control myself as soon as I would touch him.

"Tommy, I have so much to tell you." My voice was quiet. He smiled at me, his eyes sparkling. "Adam, I want to hear everything you have to say. But, don't get me wrong, I would like to refresh myself. I fell asleep in front of the TV and I just don't feel comfortable enough for this. Is this ok?" he asked me. In this moment for the first time in that night I realized that it was late. "Oh God, Tommy, I'm sorry, I didn't thought about how late it is. I just wanted to see you. Do you want me to come back tomorrow?" I felt a little guilty for waking him up. He looked at me and answered with faken anger in his voice: "Don't you dare to walk away now. I have been waiting far too long, don't you think? Just wait here, take whatever you want to drink and please stay. I will be right back." He looked at me a little anxious. "Will you stay?" I just nodded.

_There is no place in this world I would rather be right now. _

He rushed towards his bathroom. I could hear the shower. A shiver ran down my spine as images of him naked right now under the shower started to spin around in my head. I had to force myself to stay away from the bathroom. I shook my head to get the view of a naked and wet Tommy out of my head. I took my jacket off and headed to the kitchen. I took a small bottle of water out of his fridge and took a sip. Then I was just sitting on his couch and waiting for him to come out of the bathroom. As the shower ran out, my heart skipped.

_He will be here in a few moments._

I was still nervous. I just wasn't used to those things. I mean telling someone you love them is always hard, even if that someone is your best friend. Maybe than it is even harder. I tried to use the last moments on my own to gather my thoughts and to fix what I wanted to say. Then he came out of the bathroom. And nothing I have seen in my entire life could have prepared me for the feeling that came over me as I watched him walking over to me. I was almost frozen at his sight.

I always thought that he was beautiful. But you can't imagine how beautiful he was in this moment. He was wearing a black T-shirt and black shorts, no shoes. There were waterdrops all over his tattoos. It seemed like they were glowing on his body. His face was pure, without makeup, just Tommy. His eyes a dark and warm brown. His blond hair a little wet. And did I mention his lips? They looked like a sweet sin. He was just gorgeous. I felt butterflies flutter in my stomach.

"Tommy ..." I wasn't even able to say more. My mouth was dry, I took a sip of water. Just to do something. "Tommy, you are sooo... I can't take my eyes off of you." This was all I managend to say. He smiled, blushing slightly. I didn't even know when I got up, but as I regained consciousness I was standing in front of him. My eyes kept wandering over his face, trying to learn every little piece by heart.

After a while I reached out my hand and began to touch his face. I let my fingertips wander slightly across his forehead, I traced his eyebrows and let my finger stroke over his beautiful nose and then over his closed eyes. Then I was touching his cheekbones and ran my fingertips to his chin. From here I needed just a few fingersteps to his lips. It was like painting a beautiful picture. I enjoyed touching his lips softly, feeling every curve of them. Then I cupped his face with my hands, stroking his cheeks with my thumbs.

The whole time he was just standing in front of me. As soon as I put my fingertips on his face, he closed his eyes. He was quiet, only his unsteady breathing showed me that he was enjoying what I was doing. Once again my eyes wandered over his face, devouring it, loving it. Then my lips followed the invisible tracks of my fingertips. I left feathery kisses all over his face. Then I stopped to look at him. "Tommy, please open your eyes." It was just a whisper. He opend his eyes slowly. He looked at me like he was coming back from a dream. His eyes dark and full of love. I wanted to bathe in those eyes forever. "Tommy, I love you." My confession hit him like a shot. I felt him shiver against my hands. His eyes were sparkling with uncried tears. I just couldn't hold back anymore. His face still in my hands, I pulled his lips to mine. I let my lips slightly carress his lips. He wrapped his arms around my neck, pulling me closer to his body. Our lips were melting together, soft and slow. A shiver started to crawl over my body.

Then I pulled away from the kiss, looking deep in his eyes. He looked back at me in confusion. "What's wrong?" his voice raspy. "Nothing, everything is just right." I pulled him in a tight hug carressing his back. "I am just happy." I smiled into his ear. I could feel him melting into my embrace. Then he started to push my backwards to his couch. I followed his lead. Finally he pushed me down. When I was sitting, he climbed on my lap, his arms around my neck. His eyes were locked with mine. "I need to know what brought you back to me. And do you really want to stay?" His voice sounded insecure. "I am really happy that you are back, but I ... I just need to know...". I smiled and took his hand from my neck to kiss every fingertip. He watched my lips and swallowed hard. Then he sighed: "Adam, please don't tease me. Just tell me." He really needed to hear it.

"Sorry I couldn't resist, you are just too sweet. But I know you deserve that I am honest and open with you." I was holding his hand and laid it on my chest. " I must admit, first I realized that you love me, I was really out of my mind. I wanted to get away from you, as far as I could. I didn't want to think about my own feelings for you. I just wanted to lock them out." I sighed. " The worst thing about your confession was that for you it was something ordinary while I almost drove myself insane. I just couldn't understand, how you felt." I paused to take a deep breath.

"I was also ashamed that I couldn't just be honest with you. You were so caring and so sweet and I wanted to hide." Suddenly there were tears in my eyes. Tommy looked at me and as a single tear dropped out of my eye, he kissed it away leaving a fire mark on my cheek. I had to swallow. "Sorry! Please go on." His voice was like an embrace to me.

I cleared my throat and wiped one more tear away from my eye. "The last time I was here, I had the plan to meet you, to stop whatever was going on between us. But then I saw you and all the emotions in your eyes and I really lost my selfcontrol. And then you told me all those nice things but I still didn't get it. I still didn't want to get it. That was why I had to go, leaving you broken behind me." I looked into his eyes. "Tommy I am really sorry for hurting you. I was just stupid and childish." I stroked over his cheek. I paused once again to gather myself. I saw that he was fighting against an urge to take me in his arms. But he also wanted me to continue.

"Then I talked to Monte. He really opened my eyes." I took both his hands in my hands. "he made me realize." I paused once again. It was quite too long for him. "WHAT did you realize" he asked inpatient. "I fell for you. I am so madly in love with you, I can't think of anything else. After I admitted it to myself I just wanted you to know that I want to be with you. I didn't want to waste any second more. That's why I came to you, in the mid of the night. Just couldn't wait." I smiled shyly.

"Are you sure? I mean you are not afraid anymore?" I looked down with a small sigh."Tommy, I want to be honest. I am still a little scared. But I am more afraid to let the chance to have something amazing with you pass up. I want you. Can you help me to deal with my fears?" I looked straight in his eyes and saw him crying. "Tommy, baby, don't cry!" It broke my heart to see him like that.

"No, no, it's ok, I'm fine." He sniffed. "I am just happy and relieved. The last days were hard for me too. I was sure you would come back to me, but I was not sure how long I could take it. I missed you so much. But now..." he reached out his hand and touched my cheek. "Now everything is just fine." I cupped his face in my hands, pulling him closer to me. Our faces were just a few inches apart. He looked in my eyes. "I love you so much!" With this he closed the distance between our lips and pulled me in a longing kiss.

His lips on my lips were everything I could think about right now. I moaned and he let his tongue gently caress my lips. With a soft force his tongue pushed my lips apart and wandered in my mouth to meet mine. I pulled him closer, digging my fingers in his neck. He moaned in my mouth and I felt the vibration deep in me. My hands pulled on his hair, my body was trying to get him closer and closer. Our tongues were playing around and I was about to explode, the emotions overhelming me.

Finally he pulled a little away, trying to catch a breath. Our foreheads met as he smiled at me, biting on his bottom lip. His eyes were dark. Then he got up and pulled me up with him. "Time to go to bed, it's late" He smirked on me, pulling me towards his bedroom. I was grinning like an idiot, knowing that we wouldn't get any sleep in the next hours.

As we came in his bedroom Tommy turned to face me, he pulled my face down and kissed me with an opened mouth. He sucked softly on my bottom lip, then his tongue slipped in my mouth again. I couldn't neither think nor breathe. It was like he was touching my soul with this kiss. My hands started to wander over his body. I decided that he had too much clothes on. My hands were wandering over his back to the hem of his t-shirt. As I slid my hands under his t-shirt to touch the skin on his back, he drew a deep breath, biting on my bottom lip. I smiled.

My hands stroked over his bare back and I was tracing his spine. He shivered under my touch and I felt goosebumps forming on his skin. I pulled his t-shirt over his head causing his lips to leave mine. He whined at the lost, but I used my chance to get my lips on his neck. His head fell back as I let my tongue circle on his pulse. My hands were back on his spine, wandering up and down. He was melting in the touch. As I let my mouth wander over his chest I could feel his heart beating hard. My hands were now on his stomach and kept wandering towards my lips on his chest. Then I pulled my lips away and watched him. "Baby, you are so beautiful!" He smiled and I kissed him tenderly, letting my tongue explore his mouth. He pulled his hands around my waist and started to remove my shirt.

I had to gasp for breath as soon as my t-shirt was gone. That wouldn't be the first time I would feel his skin on mine but this time it was different. He let his eyes slide down my chest and back to my eyes. Then he stepped closer to me and pulled me in an embrace. As soon as I felt his skin on mine I was burning. The feeling was so strong, I couldn't barely stand upright. He looked deep in my eyes, I was trambling on the emotions I could see there. "I can hardly believe that you are mine!" There was a happy smile in his voice and he pulled me closer to kiss me like there would be no tomorrow.

I don't even know how we managed it, but after a little while, we were standing there almost naked. Our pants, my shoes and my socks were gone, thrown somewhere on the floor. Only in briefs we were standing here, kissing and touching. Then I could feel that he was leading us towards his bed. After a few steps we just fell down on his bed, laying side by side. We were looking deep in the others eyes. I felt for the first time since days just happy. This moment was so perfect, that I couldn't understand why I was ever afraid of having this with Tommy.

Tommy eyes were dancing across my chest and my arms. He smiled and said: "I love your freckles. I would like to count them all." I smirked back " Baby, it would take you forever to do this". Tommy pulled me closer in his arms. "I want to use my lifetime to count your freckles, over and over again." With this he kissed me once again passionatly, making me shiver. Then his fingers started to run from one freckle to another. His lips followed his fingers. I was about to go crazy.

"Tommy, I want to feel you all, without any clothes between us." He looked in my eyes. "I just want to feel YOU on me." He smiled and then smirked at me. "So, what do you think, who will be faster naked?" He didn't give me a real chance to win, because he pulled his briefs out while his was speaking to me. "Hey, you are a little cheater!" I was laughing. But he was also fast and he pulled my briefs out within a second. I was speachless. "Wow! You are really quick." He pushed me down in the sheets and then layed himself right on top of me.

_Oh, my God!_

I know we had some hot makingout session for weeks and I have seen him naked and I knew every part of his body. But the feeling now was so intense. For the first time it was not about getting satisfaction of physical needs. It was about feeling love. This was so deep, we both were trembling. He looked at me and then his lips traced over my face. Our bodies moved slowly together. It shook me to the core to feel him making love to me. It was like a promise, like a silent whisper. There was no urgency in our movements, everything was gentle and soft. Every inch of my body was about to pet his body. I couldn't imagine that we could ever feel closer as we did in this moment. I could feel every piece of his body, every bruise, every bone, everything.

Tommy was aware of the magic of this moment just as much as I was. He kissed me over and over again. His lips soft, his tongue carrassing and gentle, his hands gently stronking over my body, my face, my arms... There was not a slightest hurry in his touches. It was like an unspoken agreement between us. I was just as gentle and slowly as he was. My fingertips danced over his back like whispers. His skin was so soft and it almost hurt to feel him so close to me. His touches released my soul from the armor I put around it. And with every touch and every kiss he was about to conquer the last piece of my heart. I loved every second of it. I was gladly opening my gates, letting him in. It was like it was always meant to be.

He broke the kisses just to look in my eyes. I used the moment to turn us around to lay him on his back. My hands ran over his chest while I was laying on his side. He closed his eyes as my lips started to wander over his chest, kissing every inch of it. He moaned heavily as my tongue circled around his nipples. His back arched against my touch, his fingers pulled on my hair. I smiled into his skin. I pulled my hands under his butt to get him closer, while my tongue continued to tickle his nipple. He moaned: "Adam, you are killing me!". I looked up at him and saw the desire in his eyes.

_Gotcha!_

I kept wandering with my lips and my tongue over his body. He was trambling as I kissed around his bellybutton, blowing hot air on his stomach. My hands were still under his butt and I pulled him closer to me, my head now on his hipbone. For a moment I was just laying here and heard his breath while I was looking over his body. He became impatient and got up on his elbows, looking down to me. "What are you doing?" his voice was throaty. "I am discovering you. I want to know every little piece of you and I want to kiss and touch every inch of you. I am making love to you, with my eyes, my mouth, my hands." He moaned as one of my hands moved away from his butt just to run over his hipbone, while my mouth was kissing the one my head was laying on. His head felt back, his body still on his elbows. I could hear him holding back his breath as my hand started wandering from his hipbone further along his body. I took my time, knowing I was about to drive him crazy.

My lips followed my hand. I stopped then as my hand was about to touch his cock, my lips as well almost on it. I looked up to see his face. He opend his eyes, looking down to me. His eyes were hazy. I opened my mouth and let my tongue slowly wander over his cock. He closed his eyes, moaned loudly and let his body fall on his back. I could feel him shiver as I continued to lick over his cock. I moved my tongue slowly, softly touching him. My hands were now on his hipbones, pushing his body down into the sheets. He moaned my name, his hands on my hair, his body writhing under me. It was pure pleasure for me to see how he was reacting on me. I was really enjoying the torture I was doing to him.

With a smooth motion I took his cock in my mouth and his back arched. "Oh, God, Adam!" His moan let his body vibrate under me. My own cock responded on his arousal. I let my teeth wander over his length and sucked on it. I liked the way he could let go and was enjoyning himself. There was suddenly an urge to kiss him and I let his cock slip out of my mouth and crawled up to his face. He opened his eyes and pulled my lips in a kiss. This kiss was pure fire, I could feel small explosions all over my body. I layed down on top of his body, our coks rubbing against each other. His cock was wet and it felt so good against my own. I wrapped my arms around his head and we kissed while our cocks were dancing on fire together. Then I pulled him to sit up in my lap. Tommy wrapped his legs around me, his hands on my back, digging in my skin. I kissed him passionatly and let my tongue meet his tongue over and over again. We moved faster, our breaths unsteady. Then I let my hand wander between our bodys, right where our cocks were embracing each other. I put my hand around them and began to stroke. It was amazing to feel his cock on mine. His hand joined my hand and we moved together faster and faster. "Tommy, I love you!" I managed to say before my body took me away on a wave of joy. Then he cried out my name and I could feel that he was about to get off with me. It was more than ecstasy, it was like coming home after a long and tiring journey. It just felt right.

As we came back we were both panting against our faces. I looked in his eyes and stroked his bangs out of his face. Then he fell back and I leaned forward and kissed him with all the love I felt for him. He was holding me in an embrace, his heartbeat melted with mine. Then I pulled away to get some tissues to clean our bodies. He smiled while I wiped over his stomach. After I finished I kissed over his stomach and his chest to his lips. I cupped his face and looked at him. "I can't believe that I was so afraid to give us a try. I love you so much." I kissed over his face. "I love you too. And I think I know the answer." "Answer to what question?" "I asked if you wanted to stay." I laughed at him: "Tommy, I will stay with you as long as you want me to!" We kissed once again.

Then he said smiling against my lips: "I have something for you. I bought it some time ago, hoping we could need it soon." He got up and walked out of his bedroom. I was waiting for him to come back. Then he was back and jumped on the bed. His hands were behind his back. '"Close your eyes!" I obeyed. "So, now take a look." As I opend my eyes I started to laugh. "Now, you can be sure I will never ever leave your side!" "That was the plan", he said as he gave me a spoon full with mint-chocolate ice cream. I moaned and leaned back to sit on the head end of his bed. He sat next to me and smiled while he was feeding himselm and me with ice cream.

I woke up next day and the first thing I saw was Tommys head on my chest. His breath was tickling me. I had to smile and pulled him closer to me. He moaned in his sleep. And as I was laying here in his arms, skin on skin, I realized it.

_Everything changed for us, but it was still __us, it was still me and it was still Tommy. And he was now mine!_

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_I hope you enjoyed the last chapter. I had so much fun writing it!

I would like to read what you think, so please review!

And thank you all for reading, I am really happy about it!


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